Nubblies Short Story Contest: Entry #1 - Nubblies.net Forums

Titan · 09-15-2003, 06:17 PM

The Giant Friendly Robit

Once upon a time there was a giant friendly robit. This giant friendly robit was the last of his kind; he lived in the Alpine snowy area. He was freezing cold all the time because he was made out of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel (which is abundant in the year 2304). This made the friendly robit pretty sad (being cold, not being made of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel. Any robot who complains about being made of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel needs to have his electrotransjuicefactobreedorodiznor ripped out). The worst part is that the giant friendly robit didn't have any friends. No one was even his size, and any fuzzy Inuits that may have seen him passing by instantly collapsed from fear and died in the snow.

He was a secret robit that no one knew about, he was made 4 years prior by two retarded scientists who wanted to take over the world, (they weren't actually mentally handicapped). The giant friendly robit’s creators, Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit, had both died a few months after the friendly robit was made. They were old and feeble. According to the paper they died while getting freaky - not with each other you flaming homo.

So the giant friendly robit was left all alone, by himself, without anyone. Blah blah sad. One day the friendly robit decided to wander into town. When he got there he basically scared the living tapeworms out of the fuzzy futuristic Inuit townsfolk and they all ran away or hid inside their futuristic inuit houses. However, there was one person left who did not run away; his name was edgar. Edgar was an old man who everyone in town made fun of because he was blind as a bat. He said in an old crackly voice barely audible above the chaos, "What the heck is ev'rybody runnin' away for?" Yeah, he was grumpy too. The giant friendly robit bent down really slowly (and loudly, all creaky like, he was a rusty robit) and looked at Edgar...

"010101110100010010011100101!" said the friendly robit, for he only knew the language of binary and was not programmed with English yet.

Edgar exclaimed, "Holy crap! You're a freaking giant friendly robit aren't you? I know about you. I know all about you... come with me giant friendly robit." Edgar hobbled along while the giant friendly robit followed...

Edgar and the robit eventually came to a huge abandoned airplane hanger. Edgar went through a small door and then a few seconds later a large garage-like door opened up and the robit went inside. There Edgar showed the giant friendly robit a bunch of old magazine articles that had pictures of the robit, Dr. Zarwack, Dr. Rewerdnit and someone else... it was Edgar! The robit asked Edgar in binary why he was in the picture.

"Well, I was the one that built you, giant friendly robit!" proclaimed Edgar.

The robit blinked and bleeped.

"Yep, I had a hand in your design a little, but mostly I'm just the one that built you... from scratch, with my bare hands... and with super sophisticated computer technology... and a box of crayons. After you were done we started getting a lot of publicity for your creation. Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit got noticed more and more, and me less and less, even though you wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for me."

The giant friendly robit got sad when he heard this and started to leak hydropouruflouronucleodioribfononsenso fluid out of his eye sockets because the story made him sad.

"Don't leak giant friendly robit, now that I've found you again, I can show you a secret. Besides, everyone will make fun of me if I’m friends with a giant friendly sissy robit." Having said that, Edgar reached way down into his pants and pulled out his big... key. He handed it to the robit and told him to stick it in... the back of his neck. With a lot of loud creaky rusty noises (and inappropriate uses of periods) the giant friendly robit slowly turned into a giant friendly supersonic jet.

The newly acquired giant frienly supersonic jet 00'd and 11'd and was very happy. It’s not everyday you get to turn into a giant friendly supersonic jet. Edgar got inside and then programmed some directions into the giant friendly supersonic jet. All of a sudden he blasted off, and within about 4 hours Edgar and the giant friendly supersonic jet found themselves in a tropical paradise lagoony place. You know, like in the movies.

The water was soooooo-ooo-oo-o- bright blue and the sand on the beach was pure white. It was pretty, like the beach from the movie “The Beach”. I wish I had a beach like that, damn that would be cool. I’d have it all to myself. I’d swim in the ocean and stuff... play volleyball in the sand... lay out naked with a fine piece of woman... make sweet love in the hot sun... and at night in the cool breeze under the stars... in the morning after we- sorry. This was no ordinary perfect beach either. There were a bunch of superhot scientist babes in skimpy bikinis and friendly scientist guy people in lab coats, as well as more giant friendly robits, and superhot giant friendly robitwimmin. The giant friendly robit and Edgar were so superhappy that they leaked themselves. No seriously, they’re on Kazaa.

After a while of walking around the islandy place, Edgar met two old guys in a copacabana-like bar. He went up to them to strike up a conversation and when they turned around he was shocked to see none other than than Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit! Yeah, he was blind, but he could smell them. They smelled bad. Not really bad. Just, “I haven’t taken a shower in a few days” bad.

"What are you doing here?! I thought you two were dead!" exclaimed Edgar.

"Nope," said Dr. Zardwack, "We didn't die, we just took a vacation.”

“Oh,” came the retort from Edgar.

“And hey, what the hell was with that newspaper article about us dying during intercourse? It sounded like they meant... you know... with each other,” questioned Dr. Rewerdnit.

“Errr... uhh... I have no idea...” said Edgar. “Some journalist must have gotten their notes mixed up... er... it wasn’t my fault, I had no reason to be jealous... I mean... I had no reason to tell them something like that.”

“Okay,” said Dr. Zarwack, “Well anyway, we wanted you to come too, we sent your airplane ticket in the mail, and we wondered why you never came.”

All of a sudden a mail man walked across the screen and confessed, “Yeah, that's my fault folks. Sorry. I was getting chased by a dog so I fed it to him to get him off me. Heh-heh, whoops. I'll deliver the next one I get though, I promise."

The three stood there in amazement at how retarded the postal worker was, and how the hell he was able to get there at such a convenient moment yet failed to do something as simple as deliver one piece of mail. He should get fired. Oh well.

"If I would have known you flew out here I could have come years ago using the giant friendly super sonic jet!" exclaimed Edgar.

"Yeah, we never knew that the giant friendly robit could turn into a giant friendly supersonic jet. That’s pretty pimp," said Dr. Rewerdnit.

To which Edgar replied, "Yeah, well, you never asked."

Ha - Ha! They all laughed and laughed and laughed... and laughed and laughed and laughed and farted and laughed. Then they all went out to party with all the giant friendly robits and robitwimmin and all the superhot scientist chicks in skimpy bikinis and friendly scientist guys in labcoats. Everybody was superhappy.

The giant friendly robit eventually married a giant friendly robitwummun and Edgar made them a kid. Everything was supersweet cool and they all lived happily ever after at the lagoony place. Although, the giant friendly robit and his wife never went swimming because, as we all know, giant friendly robits are afraid of fish. But that's another story all together (laugh, laugh, laugh... fart, fart fart... laugh... fart fart, laugh laugh laugh). Super happy robits and super happy scientists. The End.

[ September 15, 2003, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: Titan ]

Combat Chuck · 09-15-2003, 06:34 PM

Best. Story. Ever.

Absolutely original, breathtaking in it's scope, and hilarious in it's bodily functions, this story has captured the innocence of a robit and his maker's love.

I really really liked this. Alot.

Titan · 09-15-2003, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Combat Chuck:
I really really liked this. Alot.

You shit me.

'ey, when's your's going up anyway?

Combat Chuck · 09-15-2003, 10:38 PM

When I get done with it. Which should be a few hours before the deadline. But for now, I need to wash my clothes....*cough*...

09-15-2003, 06:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Titan Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,698 Internets: 10	The Giant Friendly Robit Once upon a time there was a giant friendly robit. This giant friendly robit was the last of his kind; he lived in the Alpine snowy area. He was freezing cold all the time because he was made out of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel (which is abundant in the year 2304). This made the friendly robit pretty sad (being cold, not being made of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel. Any robot who complains about being made of bicarbotitanionucleoditonal steel needs to have his electrotransjuicefactobreedorodiznor ripped out). The worst part is that the giant friendly robit didn't have any friends. No one was even his size, and any fuzzy Inuits that may have seen him passing by instantly collapsed from fear and died in the snow. He was a secret robit that no one knew about, he was made 4 years prior by two retarded scientists who wanted to take over the world, (they weren't actually mentally handicapped). The giant friendly robit’s creators, Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit, had both died a few months after the friendly robit was made. They were old and feeble. According to the paper they died while getting freaky - not with each other you flaming homo. So the giant friendly robit was left all alone, by himself, without anyone. Blah blah sad. One day the friendly robit decided to wander into town. When he got there he basically scared the living tapeworms out of the fuzzy futuristic Inuit townsfolk and they all ran away or hid inside their futuristic inuit houses. However, there was one person left who did not run away; his name was edgar. Edgar was an old man who everyone in town made fun of because he was blind as a bat. He said in an old crackly voice barely audible above the chaos, "What the heck is ev'rybody runnin' away for?" Yeah, he was grumpy too. The giant friendly robit bent down really slowly (and loudly, all creaky like, he was a rusty robit) and looked at Edgar... "010101110100010010011100101!" said the friendly robit, for he only knew the language of binary and was not programmed with English yet. Edgar exclaimed, "Holy crap! You're a freaking giant friendly robit aren't you? I know about you. I know all about you... come with me giant friendly robit." Edgar hobbled along while the giant friendly robit followed... Edgar and the robit eventually came to a huge abandoned airplane hanger. Edgar went through a small door and then a few seconds later a large garage-like door opened up and the robit went inside. There Edgar showed the giant friendly robit a bunch of old magazine articles that had pictures of the robit, Dr. Zarwack, Dr. Rewerdnit and someone else... it was Edgar! The robit asked Edgar in binary why he was in the picture. "Well, I was the one that built you, giant friendly robit!" proclaimed Edgar. The robit blinked and bleeped. "Yep, I had a hand in your design a little, but mostly I'm just the one that built you... from scratch, with my bare hands... and with super sophisticated computer technology... and a box of crayons. After you were done we started getting a lot of publicity for your creation. Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit got noticed more and more, and me less and less, even though you wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for me." The giant friendly robit got sad when he heard this and started to leak hydropouruflouronucleodioribfononsenso fluid out of his eye sockets because the story made him sad. "Don't leak giant friendly robit, now that I've found you again, I can show you a secret. Besides, everyone will make fun of me if I’m friends with a giant friendly sissy robit." Having said that, Edgar reached way down into his pants and pulled out his big... key. He handed it to the robit and told him to stick it in... the back of his neck. With a lot of loud creaky rusty noises (and inappropriate uses of periods) the giant friendly robit slowly turned into a giant friendly supersonic jet. The newly acquired giant frienly supersonic jet 00'd and 11'd and was very happy. It’s not everyday you get to turn into a giant friendly supersonic jet. Edgar got inside and then programmed some directions into the giant friendly supersonic jet. All of a sudden he blasted off, and within about 4 hours Edgar and the giant friendly supersonic jet found themselves in a tropical paradise lagoony place. You know, like in the movies. The water was soooooo-ooo-oo-o- bright blue and the sand on the beach was pure white. It was pretty, like the beach from the movie “The Beach”. I wish I had a beach like that, damn that would be cool. I’d have it all to myself. I’d swim in the ocean and stuff... play volleyball in the sand... lay out naked with a fine piece of woman... make sweet love in the hot sun... and at night in the cool breeze under the stars... in the morning after we- sorry. This was no ordinary perfect beach either. There were a bunch of superhot scientist babes in skimpy bikinis and friendly scientist guy people in lab coats, as well as more giant friendly robits, and superhot giant friendly robitwimmin. The giant friendly robit and Edgar were so superhappy that they leaked themselves. No seriously, they’re on Kazaa. After a while of walking around the islandy place, Edgar met two old guys in a copacabana-like bar. He went up to them to strike up a conversation and when they turned around he was shocked to see none other than than Dr. Zarwack and Dr. Rewerdnit! Yeah, he was blind, but he could smell them. They smelled bad. Not really bad. Just, “I haven’t taken a shower in a few days” bad. "What are you doing here?! I thought you two were dead!" exclaimed Edgar. "Nope," said Dr. Zardwack, "We didn't die, we just took a vacation.” “Oh,” came the retort from Edgar. “And hey, what the hell was with that newspaper article about us dying during intercourse? It sounded like they meant... you know... with each other,” questioned Dr. Rewerdnit. “Errr... uhh... I have no idea...” said Edgar. “Some journalist must have gotten their notes mixed up... er... it wasn’t my fault, I had no reason to be jealous... I mean... I had no reason to tell them something like that.” “Okay,” said Dr. Zarwack, “Well anyway, we wanted you to come too, we sent your airplane ticket in the mail, and we wondered why you never came.” All of a sudden a mail man walked across the screen and confessed, “Yeah, that's my fault folks. Sorry. I was getting chased by a dog so I fed it to him to get him off me. Heh-heh, whoops. I'll deliver the next one I get though, I promise." The three stood there in amazement at how retarded the postal worker was, and how the hell he was able to get there at such a convenient moment yet failed to do something as simple as deliver one piece of mail. He should get fired. Oh well. "If I would have known you flew out here I could have come years ago using the giant friendly super sonic jet!" exclaimed Edgar. "Yeah, we never knew that the giant friendly robit could turn into a giant friendly supersonic jet. That’s pretty pimp," said Dr. Rewerdnit. To which Edgar replied, "Yeah, well, you never asked." Ha - Ha! They all laughed and laughed and laughed... and laughed and laughed and laughed and farted and laughed. Then they all went out to party with all the giant friendly robits and robitwimmin and all the superhot scientist chicks in skimpy bikinis and friendly scientist guys in labcoats. Everybody was superhappy. The giant friendly robit eventually married a giant friendly robitwummun and Edgar made them a kid. Everything was supersweet cool and they all lived happily ever after at the lagoony place. Although, the giant friendly robit and his wife never went swimming because, as we all know, giant friendly robits are afraid of fish. But that's another story all together (laugh, laugh, laugh... fart, fart fart... laugh... fart fart, laugh laugh laugh). Super happy robits and super happy scientists. The End. [ September 15, 2003, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: Titan ]
	I do what the fuck I want.

09-15-2003, 06:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Combat Chuck Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,063 Internets: 10	Best. Story. Ever. Absolutely original, breathtaking in it's scope, and hilarious in it's bodily functions, this story has captured the innocence of a robit and his maker's love. I really really liked this. Alot.

09-15-2003, 10:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
Combat Chuck Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,063 Internets: 10	When I get done with it. Which should be a few hours before the deadline. But for now, I need to wash my clothes....cough...