Hot-Shotting

[Ugly Bastard]

It occurred to me recently that I'm way too stuck up when it comes to standard of living. I realized this when thinking to myself that if poker goes really well in the next few months, I might upgrade to some type of a $2k/month beachfront condo or something.

Then I was like... wait a minute... what the fuck... why would I spend that much money on a place to live?

I took this further and realized that the only reason spending that kind of money would ever even really occur to me in the first place is to try to attract women. I do way to much of this "hot-shotting" behavior to attract women. This is a great tactic for, say, professional wrestlers. Hot-shot to get the crowd's attention so they'll buy tickets and come through the doors. But applying same logic to women just gets you stuck in a miserable hellhole of a relationship like the one I just got out of where you over-advertise yourself to attract her in the first place then have all sorts of problems when reverting back to your core product.

It's just so senseless. Why hot-shot? Why over-advertise yourself? Why do I even pay $900/month for a place when I'd be perfectly happy in a $600/month place? Does anyone really feel like they deserve and belong in some uber-nice dwelling? Or is it all just a form of over-advertising yourself?

If and when I come back to the U.S., I'm going to be way more of a tomato-loving bum. I'm still ambitious. I'll still work. I'll still keep my eye out for big-money making opportunities. But in the meantime, I'll stop giving a shit about trying to impress anyone. This relationship ruined me in this way; I could pretty much give a shit less about trying to attract some woman right now. I know, I know, eventually that will change. But when it does, I'm going to be sure to do it with more of an honest approach for my overall situation. "Hi, here's my $400/month apartment, here's the sports-jacket I wear to the dive bar where I only bring $10 cash because that's all my budget allows. I recommend you go for the $1 special if you want more than one drink."

Why give a shit about impressing anyone? All of those false-reality things you do to impress people just end up coming back to bite you in the ass anyway. Fuck nice things. If I ever buy them, it'll be because I want them, not because I give a shit what anyone else thinks.

tl;dr: Fuck the materialistic, $40k millionaire culture. I'm embracing the "live below your means and be proud of it and not give a shit about anyone who would judge you for it" approach.