Cooking for Assholes: Irish Coddle

[Pliedes]

Like I've mentioned before- I'm snowed in. Going on day 5, actually, save the ski adventure to deliver my secret santa. What better to beat the cold than a bowl of my favorite soup- Irish Coddle.

This is a my own variation. If you don't like it, feel free to change or add anything, or go fuck yourself.

To start, you will need these items- at least.




Start by peeling the potatoes. Then pour yourself a strong drink.



Dice the potatoes. An important note here: use white potatoes. Not yellow, not red. Starchy, cheap, white potatoes. Trust me.




Using about half the package of sausage, roll into little balls. I like spicy sausage, anything works though.




Cut up the bacon, at least half a pound. A full pound isn't ridiculous at all. I'm using 3/4 pound.




See that greenish-yellow shiz at the bottom of the stock pot? That's olive oil. Just a little to get the juices going.... now fry that bacon like a texas inmate. Not overdone, though, as it'll get cooked a bit more later....




Finished bacon, diced potatoes, empty glass of whiskey.




Reserve the bacon grease and juices. This is a one pot meal, as traditional and old as rape.
Add the sausage balls. Pour in a cup to cup-and-half of water to submerge the sausage. This will not only help it cook thoroughly, but also provide the beginnings of your stock.




Keep in mind, you can supplement water with other sweet nectars. The more flavor, the better.




When thoroughly cooked, remove the sausage with a slotted spoon, or something similar.
How do you know it's done? Its not raw and red, duh.




Here remain all the juices and fat, the true beginning of your delicious soup. This is what sustained our ancestors on those long winter nights- fending off tribal raiders, stealing potatoes to stay alive, trying to keep from being raped... by assholes like you! Taste the sweet history!




Now too the potatoes. One of these days I'll show you how to make a delicious potato soup, much simpler than this, but nonetheless satisfying. I've probably ate more potato soup in my life than anything else...cept ramen.




While the potatoes are cooking, pour yourself another glass of whiskey. Also, dice some onions. White are best, yellow are decent, red are ok. Not nearly as big a deal as the potatoes though, go with your heart...er, tongue.




Add the onions to the slightly boiling potatoes...




This is a good time to crack open a superior brew. In this case, superior regional brewery Ninkasi of Eugene, OR. Believer Double Red. Fuck yes. (not pictured, I poured a bit of ale into the soup)




Boil, boil, toil and trouble.




Important step here. Now that everything is soft and boiled- we must blend. I'm using a hand blender, but a traditional blender that you probably use for margaritas will work fine. If you have neither of these, just use a potato masher, large fork, whisker, or something else that'll help break down the mass. In fact, the most traditional method would just be to go at it with a potato masher. It may end up more clumpy, but flavorful and delicious nevertheless.




Once blended down, I add my spices. I fucking love spices- I believe in a past life I was a spice trader... you know, killing brown people for pepper and salt...the sweet taste of colonialism! [ps- i added a lot of pepper, a good helping of salt, and a serious amount of mrs.dash salt-free-table-blend]




Good shit is happening, we near the finish line. Add that meat back to the pot.




Many things should have happened at this point.
(1) You should've made lots of posts on nubblies.
(2) You should've learned that cooking is much easier than expected.
(3) You should be drunk. If not, you're doing something wrong.




Boil that shit down a bit more, just to thicken. The beauty of heavy soups like this is that you can forget about it, come back later, and it doesn't matter. Or get way to drunk, do something wrong, and it'll still taste great. Fuck, this whole process is haphazard at best! Yet it'll feed me for the next three days. Hopefully your dead, drunken ancestors are smiling down on you.

Irish Coddle for assholes. Hail.



PS- Add a bit of your favorite herb on top, just to diversify the flavor. Mint is great! I used basil, just cause it was on hand. BDH might have some better options